During a rainy day visit to National Heroes Park, the Queen left a wreath, met with war veterans and noticed a naked albino man masturbating and eating cigarette butts out of a nearby rubbish pan.

"Wi a' no Rasta!!! Big up di Queen!, screamed this excited woman shortly before she was struck in the head by the rear view mirror of a speeding bus.

As a gesture of gratitude to Jamaicans who served in World War I and II, , the Queen offered to jerk-off veterans who still had their genitalia.

 

Even the top brass of the Jamaican constabulary were happy to see the Queen. This inspector managed to snap a photograph as his car plowed through a crowd of schoolchildren.

While attending a supper at the University of the West Indies (UWI), the Queen ( in red ) enquired about the social responsibilty of the institution in relation to the plight of the impoverished. In response, the Queen was introduced to the Head of the Department of Traditional Dance and Folklore ; who said : " If you can dance, you forget about being poor. You just let the music take you away. The slaves did it a lot to forget about work in the morning."

COMMENTS Joy Ranshinshackle, Head of the Dept. of Traditional Dance and Folklore, UWI: "Yes , she happens to be an enduring symbol of painful colonial oppression, but if it weren't for colonialism, what the hell would I have to talk about?" Ras-Idren Donovan, Rastafarian: "After mi' come all the way from St. Mary to bring her a little pin mi' mek with Selassie pan it... her security man dem tek it and dash it pan di' ground. Fuck dem and dem fuckin bloodclaat Queen.!" afFLicted: "How weird."