REASONS WHY EDDIE SEAGA SHOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN A FRONT
SEAT AT THAT FUNERAL (NO MATTER WHAT).
is intolerant of other cultures. In Syria , (Seaga's ancestral
country) it is a tradition to give the front seats at
a funeral to the man in the village who owns the most
- The seat that Seaga was asked to vacate
was being saved for the Hon.Rex Nettleford (a well-known
academic and close friend of the family), but he is a
"practising gay" and the bible clearly states:
"...all sodomite fi bloodcloth dead!"
- The ceremony was infiltrated by PNP
henchmen who posed as ushers and were heard whispering
"Zekes have yuh pon' him list" to a flustered
- The drunken widow of Dr. Irvine became
spiteful because Seaga had rebuffed her overt sexual advances
outside of the church where she was overheard saying :
"Yow! Pretty brown man! Yuh waan mi suck yuh like
how Monica ‘a suck Bill?"
- The priest at the funeral was a PNP
imposter who had Seaga removed by issuing a preposterous
ultimatum : " Dat deh man kill aff mi modda, mi fadda,
mi two sista dem , mi dog , mi puss and mi fish . I refuse
to hold mass in his presence." This was a big lie--
Seaga only killed his two sisters.
- It is only fair that Eddie be given
a seat at the front of the church since he was not allowed
to ride in the front of the car on the way there.
was unfairly prejudiced by the same PNP imposter priest
who rudely scolded him for answering "YES?"
everytime someone said the word "LORD" or "GOD."
- It is NOT true that Seaga was asked
THREE TIMES to vacate the seat. The first time he was
asked to refrain from "gun signals", a second
time for smoking ganja after which time he was simply
asked to leave.
was unceremoniously punished for showing grief in his
own way: placing a bullet on the chest of the deceased