Hey , only 7 U.S for a pissy bottle of RED STRIPE?!!!
What a deal!!!
7) It is one of the last places on earth
where you won't be asked to leave for participating in
a "CONGA LINE".
6) The police are always willing to help
you find your missing wallet...for a very reasonable fee.
5) Wowee!!! Real marijuana!!! Now you
can say you've "done everything."
4) If you're one of those white people
with "dreads", Negril is nice because people
aren't "RACIST" and won't call you a "Yeti
or "Whigger" or tell you to "take a bath."
3) Plenty of cute German women with their
hair braided and decorated with red, gold and green beads.
And that's just their armpits!
2) Rick's Café! The famed international
meeting point for people just like you! (Eg. College jocks
who say "dude"; aging divorcee's with 2 or 3
different types of venereal disease; societal rejects
who ask for "Internet access"; fat bald guys
in Speedo trunks; perverted married couples looking for
other perverted married couples, etc, etc)
1) Colour means nothing in Negril, even
if your skin is covered in red , asshole-shaped sores.
"No Problem Mon." Just rub some more of that
stank white cream on yourself, sit back, and listen to
the sound of melanoma cells happily multiplying all over
your fat ass.